Helping family and friends understand food allergies can be challenging, but it’s incredibly important. Clear communication, education, and patience go a long way in building a safe and supportive environment. Whether it’s explaining the severity of cross-contamination or helping them read ingredient labels, every effort brings us one step closer to preventing allergic reactions and ensuring everyone feels included at the table.

If someone invites you over and food will be served, don’t hesitate to ask what’s being prepared and what ingredients are used. Say something like, “I or my child have a food allergy and need to be very cautious.” It’s always better to speak up and stay safe than to stay silent and risk a reaction.  Navigating life with food allergies isn’t easy, but with strong communication, a supportive community, and a little preparation, it is manageable. The goal isn’t perfection it’s protection. And every conversation, every precaution, is worth it to keep our kids or us safe, confident, and included.

If a family member doesn’t fully understand, the best thing you can do is keep the lines of communication open. I’ve been fortunate my family, both mine and my husband’s, have been very understanding and will sometimes go out of their way to provide food that’s safe for my girls.  I mostly pack food and snacks for my youngest, who has several severe allergies, no matter where we go. That way, I know she’ll have something safe to eat.

That said, it’s important to remember that while family and friends might understand the concept of food allergies, they don’t live with it day to day and that’s okay. We can’t really blame them. We’re the ones who check every food label, go to multiple stores to find safe products, and constantly stay vigilant. Yes, it would be amazing if everything we needed was at one store! But until then, we stay proactive because our children’s or our own health depends on it. It’s exhausting but it’s life-saving.

My husband and I made the decision to keep our youngest out of daycare and preschool because of her severe food allergies. I stayed home with her and made sure she learned to understand her allergies and recognize what can happen if she’s exposed. Now that she’s in school, she’s able to clearly communicate her allergies to anyone she meets and insists that people wash their hands before interacting with her even me!  So when we are at family and friend gatherings, she’s aware of who’s around her and what they’re eating. It’s something we’ve worked hard on, and I’m proud of how responsible she’s become.

Advocating for food allergy safety isn’t always easy, but it builds confidence, empowers our kids, and creates awareness. Every small conversation can lead to big change.  Sometimes, that might mean having uncomfortable conversations or repeating ourselves more than we’d like. It might mean bringing your own food to gatherings, asking someone to wash their hands, or declining an invitation if it doesn’t feel safe. And that’s okay. You’re not being difficult you’re being a protector.

If you’re dealing with someone who minimizes the risk or acts like you’re being overprotective, know this: you’re not overreacting you’re reacting appropriately. Stand firm. It’s not about being polite or accommodating others’ feelings at the expense of your child’s well-being or yours.

Here are a few things to help:

• Be proactive, not reactive. Let people know ahead of time about the allergy and the severity. Don’t wait until food is already on the table.
• Use “I” language. Say, “I need to be sure the food is safe for my child or myself,” instead of “You can’t serve that,” which sounds more like you are attacking them even though you aren’t.
• Offer solutions. Bring your own food or offer to help prepare something safe this shows you’re not expecting others to do all the work, even though it’s appreciated when they do.
• Don’t be afraid to say no. If someone isn’t taking the allergy seriously, it’s okay to skip the event. Safety always comes first, even if it makes others upset.
• Educate when you can. Share articles, stories, or even show photos of past reactions to help others understand the seriousness of it.
• Celebrate the small wins. When someone makes an effort even a small one acknowledge it. Encouragement helps build understanding and support.

It’s definitely exhausting at times. Having to be the advocate, the educator, the protector it’s a heavy load and can cause even some anxiety (that’ll be a whole other article).  Just know that your efforts matter and is what is keeping your child or yourself safe, feel seen and feel supported. In doing all of this it is teaching your child that their health is worth standing up for. And they’re slowly helping others understand that this isn’t about nagging or being difficult that it is about survival.  Not everyone will fully understand the seriousness of food allergies and that’s okay they just haven’t lived it. What matters most is that we stay consistent in our communication, set firm boundaries, and never feel guilty for prioritizing health and safety.

You might feel alone at times, but you’re not. There’s a whole community of us navigating the same path and you’re doing a great job.